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YOU & MEUSELESS
Join the Club

Join the Club

Become an officially certified useless legend and proudly do nothing with others.

  1. 1Your Details
  2. 2Payment
  3. 3Become Useless

Pick your character (change it anytime)

Already have an account? Log in

Live preview — your real number is revealed after payment:

YOU & ME
USELESS
USELESS ID CARD
Name:
Your Name
ID:
#????
Title:
Certified Useless
QR after joining
Scan to verify

Valid for absolutely nothing · Novelty item · Not an identity document

Lifetime Membership
$4.99

One-time payment. Forever useless.

WHAT YOU GET

  • Official Useless ID CardYour digital proof of uselessness.
  • Personalised CertificatesOfficial ones come with a public verification code.
  • Your Name on the WallOnly if you opt in. Private by default.
  • Unlock AchievementsCollect ridiculous badges for real (useless) actions.
  • Useless Games & FeedPointless games and a members-only feed.

🔒 Privacy: your email and payment details never appear publicly. Your member number is assigned only after your payment is verified.

  • Instant Access
  • Lifetime, not a subscription
  • Secure hosted payment